#PositivityRules: The Power of Smiles & Full Hugs

Writing this blog post brought a smile to my face 😊. It also made me think about happiness, and even moreso, joy. I like to radiate joy, forge connections, and positivity everywhere I go. My social media timelines overflow with deliberate celebrations of life’s brightest expressions: smiles, and laughter. And in real life? I give full hugs, not those half-hearted ones. Let me tell you why that matters, and how it all ties into my journey from a shy teenager to someone who chooses positivity every single day.

Let me take you back to the beginning, because my love for smiles and hugs didn’t happen overnight. When I became a teenager and was at UST JSS (junior secondary school), I was quite shy. I wasn’t able to talk to many girls unlike some of my male mates. When I got to Presec (senior secondary school), that shyness continued. Until I started taking club-related positions and became Protocol Prefect, which afforded me many opportunities to leave my single-sex school and meet many girls. When I got to MIT (university), I finally broke that chain and became very outgoing, not shy at all, and networked a lot with women. There has been a great and good progression in my life. When I joined Facebook in 2004, I wrote in my About section, “Wearing a smile.” Around that same time, I started loving giving and taking hugs. It’s all #PositivityRules, ain’t it? 😊

That shift wasn’t just about growing up; it was about part of deciding that life feels better when you lead with warmth and connecting. My mother told me something when I was a child that I will never forget and I continue to tell lots of people, “It only takes 14 muscles to smile, while it takes 72 muscles to frown”. I intentionally started using smiling emojis in my online chats with people, just to let them know that whatever I was saying, I was not angry or tense, but that I meant well. This way before the Gen Z folks helped popularize emojis and memes. These days, smiles aren’t just something I do—they’re my signature mood. 😊

This philosophy of smiles and full hugs shows up in everything I do. On a milestone birthday, I posted about #MightyAfrican smiles all over, That was also our #MightyAfricanLove anniversary. The outpouring of messages from friends, family, and the community filled my cup completely. I thanked everyone for being part of the journey, for the good moments we shared, and for the great memories that abound. Those birthday wishes weren’t just words—they felt like collective hugs arriving in my notifications. 🤗

My feed is peppered with declarations that turn ordinary moments into smile-worthy victories. Thinking about AI plans for work has made me smile from ear to ear, and those ideas turn into collaborative hugs at work, etc where we celebrate breakthroughs together. When a lot of my favorite songs of all-time blare through the #Vimride speakers, I post about how the music hits differently and makes me smile. Those tracks aren’t background noise—they’re reminders that joy can blast through #MusicWeDeyFeel and lift your spirit instantly. Then there’s cultural pride. Various things that happen to celebrate coups and captures, make me smile. 😊

One of the GhanaThink members is nicknamed MC Mr Smile, after he was first nicknamed Smile. Gideon Asmah, who leads us in Cape Coast and the Central Region, does have a nice smile. He is also a comedian and an actor. I wish I could crack jokes as well as he does, for more smiles around me. Laughter follows naturally when that happens. 😂

I love smiling when taking pictures and encourage others to do so. In fact, when I am taking pictures with a group of people, I make people say something that makes us laugh so they can bear their 32 teeth for smiles to ensue. The call and response works every time. At Konnect Meetups, we say “Konnect” after one of the moderators shouts the name of the city/town we’re meeting in. We also sometimes say, “Say the first word that comes to mind when you hear insert some word here”. This brings out laughs and smiles. 😄

But smiles are only half the story. The other half is hugs. I give full hugs, with full chested contact bearing bonhomie. The word bonhomie is a French word. Tell me you are not surprised. The French and Francophone folks do xoxo a lot more than many others. Several of their women who were not dating me have given me kisses on the cheek. Hugs and Kisses. Bonhomie from bonnhomme means “good-natured man". The French word bonhomme was originally used to describe a "good fellow" or "chap," and adding the suffix -ie transformed it into an abstract noun representing the quality of being such a person—essentially, "good-naturedness".

In Ghana, we do not hug as much. I guess a big part of that comes down to cultural norms? There are what we call “Pentecostal hugs.” A Pentecostal hug is basically a shoulder-only touch, sometimes just the arms brushing without any real chest contact at all. It’s the “holy holy” version designed to keep things safe, avoid any hint of temptation, especially between men and women. Such a religious country we live in, this our Ghana. It’s not that Ghanaians are cold—we’re warm-hearted people who hold hands in friendship and shake hands enthusiastically. We have great weather too on top. But public displays of affection, long hugs, or full embraces? Those are often seen as embarrassing, inappropriate, or even disrespectful in conservative settings. Whoa? It is changing though, thanks to subsequent generations and influences from other cultures.

A full hug engages your whole body. It releases more oxytocin—the bonding hormone—than a half-hearted side squeeze ever could. Science backs this up: studies show that a genuine 20-second full embrace lowers cortisol (that stress hormone that weighs us down), boosts feelings of trust and safety, and creates deeper emotional connections. A half hug feels polite but distant; a full hug says, “I see you, I value you, and we’re in this together.” How is that not more African? It leaves both people walking away lighter, happier, and more connected. 🤗

At various events, I go in full hugs most of the time, with people I have not seen in a while. Full hugs are arms wide open, genuine squeezes. These build connections and encourage others for the room to light up. These align with my #PositivityRules philosophy. Sometimes, I meet folks who are friends of others I know, who are huggers. They give hugs on the first time of meeting someone. The world should be more like that.

Traveling and living between worlds has shown me the contrast even more clearly. At MIT and during my time living in the USA, I experienced how people in the USA hug a lot more than those in Ghana. Americans are famously expressive with physical affection. A hug is often the default greeting among friends, colleagues, or even new acquaintances at a party or conference. It’s not unusual to see people wrapping each other up in full embraces right there in public. The United States leans toward more touch in social settings compared to Ghana’s more reserved approach. Maybe I spent more time in liberal states in Yankee, but if that is the case, then I have been liberated and I am very thankful for that. I have not been to France yet lol. Coming back to Ghana, I carried that energy with me.

And here’s something beautiful I’ve started a lot in recent years, since Covid. You can send hugs across borders by hugging people who are traveling to the places where your family and friends are. It sounds simple, but it’s a powerful tradition that I have taken up. When I see a friend of mine who is holidaying in Ghana but lives in Toronto, I give them a hug when we are parting, and tell them to go meet a mutual friend in TDot, and give them a hug saying it is from me. I recently did that with a friend who lives in Alberta (Canadian province), saying she should send that hub to my sister in Calgary. When a friend is flying to San Francisco, London, Lagos, Joburg, etc, I’ll give them a proper full hug before they leave and say, “Send this one to your so so and so for me” 🤗

I have started sending hugs through people I have just met to people they do not actually know. I recently sent one through a Namibian I met in Accra to my long-time friend from Eswatini who is based in Windhoek. Those types of hugs are to also help people network, I love sending email intros and now I am sending physical intros through hugs. 🙂 You see, they carry these hugs physically and emotionally. The traveler becomes the bridge—my embrace travels proxy through them, landing as a squeeze on the other side.

My progression from shy boy to outgoing networker taught me that smiles open doors and full hugs keep them open. Wearing a smile since 2004 has been my constant, and pairing it with real embraces has amplified everything. Basically, I like that intentional joy. My positivity is contagious on purpose. I share song recommendations, cultural snippets, and innovation ideas not to show off, but to spark that same smile in whoever scrolls past. 😊

So keep smiling with me. If our paths cross at the next BarCamp, Konnect Meetup, etc, expect a full hug—not a Pentecostal shoulder tap, not a quick half squeeze, but the real deal that says you matter. Because in my book, full hugs are better—they heal deeper, connect stronger, and spread joy farther. And somewhere out there, someone is receiving a relayed hug you sent through a traveler, smiling because of it. That’s the power we all carry. 😊🤗