A story of picking up "Dressed to Kill" women in Accra

After watching House of Gold with my sister on Friday at its premiere in the National Theatre amidst many “dressed to kill” women, I set out to meet and party amongst some of them in Accra. My friend Nii had told me about a house party in Labone but I couldn’t go there right after the movie premiere because my sister wanted some food. When I had dropped off my sister at her place, I received word that the house party was ending and so we had to change location. What happened after is a diary entry. Here it is.

I met Nii and Seyram and we headed to BellaRoma. True to form, the bouncer said we had to pay 20 GhC before entering. I have set a “no paying cover for as much as possible for clubs” in general so I wasn’t buying that. After seeing a couple of people enter for free, I asked the bouncer why I had to pay. Of course, he had no answers for me. Because if he was in my shoes, he wouldn’t want to hear whichever nonsense he would have been spewing out. Nii had already been at BellaRoma and he left with me and Seyram for another club. Before leaving, I told the bouncer “you just lost a customer”. He may not care but his Oga at the Top would.

Duplex was charging 10 GhC which included a drink selection. Duplex plays too much techno music for my liking but enough songs to make PartyCrewGh take over. Nii left early though and when his “I’m leaving” text came in, I was wondering whether he was leaving to conquer some banku and tilapia. Seyram and I spotted two ladies beside us who were really not having a good time. “Are you going to be a Good Samaritan and make them enjoy being here?” Ultimately, the answer was no. But for real, there’s less “asabone” in clubs and parties these days o. Is it because we’ve grown older? Likely. Cos the last party I attended graced by several university (and younger) students had a huge share of up, close and personal dancing. Seyram left earlier than me as well. I danced with a duplex couple of girls and once the latter one (and her sister) started doing “buy me tequila”, it was the sign to go home. I told them I was going to get money from my car and after ensuring they were not following me to it, I bid Duplex goodbye. This is not quite the antenna those chics do me, but it was satisfying.

I walked past a couple of girls who were bargaining a taxi fare to go home. I poked my nose in their business and asked “Where are you going?” “East Legon.” “Oh, I am going to East Legon too, I can drop you off, if you want. It’s up to you”. I made my point clear and walked away, checking back twice to see if they would follow. 2.33 seconds later, they had left a disappointed taxi driver in their wake and were gallantly gallivanting in my direction. “Are you alone?” Lmao, they taught I was some dangerous guy. I replied in the affirmative and began to tell them how I am on a mission to give free rides to different people who need them and are generally going to same routes I will be trespassing. “Do you always pick up ladies?” “No, I pick up anyone. Except one time, I stopped to pick up folks at 37 and the way some boys approached my car, I immediately doused all ‘free ride’ ideas till they had gone away”. “My family members have been cautioning me around giving free rides lest I do a favor for a dangerous person, so I have been careful”. The I Made Ghana Better Today campaign is on. #IMGBT

I had outdone myself this time. I was picking up girls from clubs and giving them free rides home. Not free rides home, but free rides to their homes. “Were you at Duplex?” “Yes, I was”. Funny thing is I didn’t see these two ladies at Duplex. I moved around a bit so I was surprised I hadn’t noticed them either. One girl lived near VIASAT so we first dropped her off. We happened to pass by Twist which was popping as usual, I even saw and chatted with a married couple I knew driving by. By the time ‘Pina had entered her house, I had possibly gained a new fan for Barcamp Ghana. Erm yeah, I am using my #IMGBT campaign to get the word out on things like Barcamp Ghana that make Ghana better anyway. ‘Pina was quite chatty and inquisitive. Whenever I pick up folks, I normally drive the conversations. Must be that ‘docile nature’ Ghanaians tend to have.

Wanita moved into the passenger seat as we left Labone for East Legon. After singing along to one of my current favorite songs playing out of car’s CD compartment, I asked her what she does. Turns out she’s a Valley View University (VVU) student in HR who’s been spending a number of weekends in East Legon. That's because there isn’t much to do in Oyibi and Valley View doesn’t quite have the campus culture to keep its students entertained. I told her about the two times I was at VVU to talk to some computer science and internet lovers. Wanita was going to Adjiringanor, which is further away from home so I took her all the way there. Not there o! There, to her home.

I would have thought her name would be Juanita but the Wanita relevation summoned the common question – “Where are you from?” “I’m a Northerner”. “Oh, what tribe?” “Mamprusi”. “Oh cool,  l learnt some small Mamprusi when I was in Tamale for Barcamp Tamale. Mpuyiha”. “I can’t speak Mampruli”. “Oh, why?” Because Y has a long tail. No, she rather said “Because I wasn’t thought and I’ve never been to my hometown”. If you are an adult Ghanaian who lives in Ghana and you have never been to your  hometown, H A P P Y Shaaaaaame! I didn’t tell her that, but she and all like her have to rectify that pronto. At some point while taking her (I mean taking her home - wait, taking her in my car home), I thought of using a “pick-up line” but never used it. I did try to pick up some ladies once upon a time. I had picked her up to East Legon anyway hehe. I took her number, bid her goodnight and returned home. Ekyena nso so tomorrow. Do you know how much a taxi ride from Osu to Adjiringanor would have cost past 2:33am in Accra? I Made Ghana Better ThatNight hehe

PS: My friend Nana always likened me to one of the most interesting men alive. Wouldn't you agree with him after this blog post? And this one? And that one? Well, the Dos Equis man is mad interesting too, so I chose this picture. The ladies didn't fall but I made them need me. ;-)