Sunday, March 10, 2013

Ayooluwaato Eze throws some light on Nigeria

Me, Ayooluwaato Eze, am taking over the MIghTy African's blog to give you a fresh voice. The MIghTy African hasn't talked about Nigeria on this blog much and after I pushed him, this Lagos experiences blog post happened. But let me take you into Naija proper by a proper Anago man. Because na we be the Giant of Africa! You no hear say Super Eagles don win African Cup? If not, you don hear wien! While Naija looks forward to the Confederations Cup, others are wondering why their Black Stars have failed to win a major trophy in his lifetime. Anyway, this na Naija time, so make una listen.

Naija is as crazy about soccer as Ghana is. Many Nigerians are Chelsea fans which is easy to say, dating back to the years that Celestine Babayaro and Taribo West played for the Blues. Today, John Mikel Obi makes a living at Stamford Bridge while Victor Moses is earning his living at Chelsea too. Why, wetin I say? Mikel for score goal give Chelsea. In fact, he for leave go another team just so he go fit score some goals. Could you imagine the day Mikel had his goal disallowed? I could hear a large DISS, ALOUD in Naija from a timezone away! Imagine the time he miss penalty for Nations Cop! Obi lucky say we win the tonament, or else like he go take Ebafemi Martins treatment. (Like I know what that even is) Mikel wants to score for Chelsea though (in the Premier league like he did twice in the FA Cup 5 years ago), the day that will happen, NEPA go carry light for a whole period till he go score again.

Did you know NEPA stands for Never Expect Power Always (Anyways)? On Wikipedia, it will tell you it actually stands for National Electric Power Authority. On my latest trip to Lagos, after seeing the Blowfish hotel do disco lights, I told a friend in Las Gidi how I wasn't surprised that even happened. She told me NEPA is old news, PHCN is the new talk of the town. Please, Hold Candle Nigeria. Generators must be costing so much more in Naija these days because of the demand, so candles are much more accessible abi? I once heard that the authorities that be are allowing the power outages to become part and parcel of Nigerian life because the generator-selling companies make too much money and need the unreliable power supply to keep their heads up in their business. TIA. Robbing Emeka to pay Sanusi. If you are called Jonathan and you live in Naija, and you don't have interrupted power supply, you should decide who to vote for in the next presidential election now now.

When I heard our president was called Goodluck Jonathan, I could not believe my ears. As if we don't have enough Nigerian jokes to suffer from everywhere. To his credit, he's won one #NigeriaDecides so he must have some true good luck. But he and his incompetent leaders who are making Nigeria live so below under its potential go hear wien! #OccupyNigeria was just the beginning. This video is the continuation. The youth of Nigeria are arising. They are singing "Arise, O Compatriots when they visit the restrooms of Lagos' nouveau riche lounges. One Day, the politicians go hear wien! The musicians have their hearts and the eardrums of many elsewhere, more music like JagaJaga, Only Me, then The Future dey come o!

There's this notion about insecurity in Lagos. I haven't felt unsafe in Lagos throughout all my trips there. The one time I felt like "oh shucks, this place might not be unsafe as I want it to be" was when I was entering an office storey-building and they were "searching me" with metal detectors. I have never seen that done to me in Ghana. Naija has been on travel-warning lists for a long time now but do you think us Nigerians care as much? No. We have everything o! Nigeria has even talent and resources to get to the point where it dash money to Uganda to give loans to Spain. People dey spend money for Lagos like bebe something. We make it rain proper!

You can't talk about Naija without mentioning the traffic. In Lagos. The story that one time some folks left Ikoyi for Murtala Mohammed airport at 5pm for a 9:30pm flight, and missed it. On the flip side, one of their colleagues left a further distance in Victoria Island at 5am for a flight, and made it to the airport in 46.8 minutes. That's why the okada is important in Lagos. And now Fashola has fashied it. What are these people to use now? Keke Marwas? Those things are as slow as slow-motion in Nollywood movies.

As you may have heard Nigerians are really aggressive. It works really well for business. See how Aliko Dangote don reach. The man has replaced Bill Gates in the minds of all hustlers, unless you are some up and coming rapper, then you look up to MI instead of Jay-Z. The aggressiveness of Nigerians has pushed into the music and movie industries to become known worldwide. It has created stars in the likes of P-Square, 2Face Idibia, Wizkid and co as well as Genevieve Nnaji, Omotola, Ramsey Nouah and co. These entertainers take their 'jobs' seriously and it's paid off handsomely and beautifully. The aggression has helped Nigerian banks like GT, Zenith, etc expand across their borders and grow. Hey, when you have almost 20 million people in Lagos alone, you will become aggressive at the opportunities staring you in the face. If e no dey work for you then make you dey worry, go see the boys for Warri.

The aggression carries to your corner tomato seller in Lagos. Visitors to Naija always talk about the fast pace. It's not all frustration, it's also drive. I once wanted a drive to Terra Kulture from Blowfish Hotel. My regular taxi bargaining successes in Accra did not do well for me in Lagos. This taxi driver was almost going to beat me. He wouldn't take tit for a tat. He was unwavering on price and no other taxi driver could move until he did. These stances work both ways. We dey make money o! You can't tell a Nigerian nonsense half of the time. We must applaud Naija for standing up to people who want to walk over them. Na true giant of Africa!

To my fellow Nigerians, we need a Naija State of Mind. Let's strive to build our father and motherland. We have supported our music and movies to travel to every corner of the world, let's do the same with other industries and push ourselves to create more world-class products. The Super Eagles are back on top, make we fly.
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